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"How to" is a seductive shortcut

In Brene Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection”, she talks about why “how to” is so alluring – we’re all looking for those quick “5 steps”.    When, truthfully, we already know “how to” yet we’re still standing in the same place most of the time.   This is not an issue that is only seen when it comes to our personal life – it's also something that is seen very often in organizations.  In fact, I threw “How to be ….” in the Google search engine and it popped up:

How to be a better person.

How to be a bad ass. 

How to be a better husband.

How to be a better wife.


If I was to create my own when it came to organizations, it would be:

How to be a good leader

How to hold people accountable

How to have difficult conversations

How to build trust in teams


From books to workshops and companies dedicated to helping with these types of issues - it's still something that we struggle with all time. My opinion - we don't spend enough time talking about the "what" and the "why". Just a couple of examples could be: What is getting in my way? What do I fear? Why am I avoiding this?


  Don’t get me wrong, I used to be completely guilty of this. Advice from a former “How to” –  look at the steps needed to achieve the goal you’re working towards and if you’re stuck at a certain spot – start questioning it and start self-reflecting.   A good question to ask yourself is: “What’s getting in the way of me being/doing/accomplishing…” If you cannot find the answer, reach out to someone you respect and trust.  I promise you – there’s an answer.  I challenge you to think about the question and see what answers you come up with.

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