No one really talks about the emotional, hormonal roller coaster you’re thrusted on to after delivering a baby. The lack of sleep, privacy and mental space in addition to all the emotions and hormones is enough to eat you up and spit you back out. Recently, I welcomed my third child - I also have a 7 year old daughter and 9 year old son. From each of my previous births, the aftermath was part of the journey I remember being the hardest.
Two little sayings have played such an important role this time around: here’s the story I’m telling myself and I’m doing the best I can.
Sometimes our emotions get the best of us and being a mom to a new baby, sometimes things are said or happen where you become overwhelmed easily and develop a story about what happened or what’s going on, very quickly. Being able to turn to your partner or a trusted loved one to say “ Here’s the story I’m telling myself” is owning that there’s possibility that I’m making more of something than there is but also acknowledging my feelings and reasons that got me there. When that person can meet us with empathy, we can start to climb out of the anxiety-driven hole we just dug ourselves in. It’s someone giving you a more objective look at what’s going on and to help determine if there’s something really happening, what can be done to fix it or even just holding space to acknowledge what happened. When we share the story we are carrying around, it has less power over our emotions and thoughts.
And even if that happens, are you doing the best you can right now? Yes.
There’s a placenta shape wound that is still healing, a baby (who’s soul survival is dependent on you), a significant other that’s going through their own journey during this period, and if there’s other children - you’re trying to juggle that too. Yes, you are doing the best you can right now and in whatever other situation that has called for your attention.
We can always do better, there’s always room for growth but in this moment are you doing the best that you can? Rarely, the answer is no.
If you find yourself in spiral stop and ask yourself : “What’s the story I’m telling myself” and before you come down too hard on yourself hit yourself next with: “Am I doing the best that I can right now?”